SSG Ham's Army Films - '14-'17 (Part 3 of 3)

Active Duty to the Reserve

Welcome back to my blog and thanks for your continued support. For this post I’d like to round out this series about the films I made during my military service and share my time transitioning out of Active Duty to the Reserve and starting Film School at the University of Southern California. If you haven’t read my first two posts check them out here Part 1 Years ‘07-’10 and Part 2 Years ‘11-’14. This time of my life I was also struggling a lot personally in many different ways. I’m thankful that I made it through that dark time of my life and have come out the other side stronger, more resilient, more purpose-driven and full of gratitude and there are alot of people that helped me along the way.

Being sworn in to continued Reserve service, Schofield Barracks, Hawaii, 2013.

Videoing a Japanese-American Soldier who fought in WWII with the all Japanese 442 unit, 2016.

Hanging out at the USC School of Cinematic Arts in uniform for a Military related event, 2014.

Dancing with my daughter to the Lt. Dan Band in Waikiki, Hawaii, 2016.

From the Army to Hollywood

I was proud of my work and reputation when I was on active duty and that led to a lot of offers to go pretty much anywhere I wanted in the military. I thought about going to Europe, or Washington D.C. or even some spots in Asia with my family, however my dream was always to be a director and make movies. I only applied to one school and that was the USC School of Cinematic Arts and Melanie and I decided that if I got in, we would move back. I was fortunate to be able to use the G.I. Bill, which I’m so thankful for, it was the only way I would’ve ever been able to go to a school like USC. If you’re interested in reading more about my USC Film School experience read HERE. Once we decided to leave active duty, I couldn’t wait to move back to Los Angeles, the city of my youth, to attend such a prestigious Cinema School, it was a dream come true! The decision to leave active duty was difficult and the transition to our new life came with a lot of trials. Active duty military had a difficult schedule and amount of stress too, especially considering the Middle East deployments, so Melanie was pretty excited to move back to Los Angeles also to be closer to her family.

I’m In The Army Reserve Now!

Our little family once again took the big leap and moved from Hawaii to Los Angeles and because of the financial strain we moved in with Melanie’s dad and step-mom, which worked out great for everyone. In 2014 I became part of an Army Reserve unit in West Los Angeles called the 311th Sustainment Brigade and their job was primarily logistics. There were a few benefits for me joining the Army Reserve that really enticed me. First, I received Tuition Assistance that paid for a percentage of USC on top of the G.I. Bill, we also received full medical benefits for my family, plus there was some income when I had to drill. Lastly, since I was still nervous about getting out of the military, being in the Reserve allowed me to still have one foot in. The 311th was the closest unit to my house and is actually right across the street from the West L.A. Veteran’s Hospital that I am currently doing a lot of work with. I enjoyed being a part of a great Public Affairs Office and they allowed me to do some fun and interesting missions, although everything I was doing in the Reserve now was not nearly as exciting as what I was doing on active duty. If you watch some of the stories above I was able to film on massive ships moving transportation and gear all throughout the world on exercises like Big Logistics Over-The-Shore (Big LOTS). I participated in Big LOTS two years in a row which was a fun exercise and the stories turned out pretty good all things considered. Some of the other missions I went on took me to places like Utah, Las Vegas and Northern California. Being part-time in the military while going to USC, raising a small family and trying to work freelance ultimately proved to be very difficult and the stress of all of it started to wear on me and our life at home.

A Difficult Military Transition

After a year or so going to school and being in the Reserve, I started to dread going to drill exercises which seemed to interrupt my life a lot. Sometimes I had to miss important weekends that I was trying to do at film school and added too much to my plate, my marriage and family life quickly started spiraling out of control. Living with my in-laws became a big stressor for me, although they were such gracious hosts and were so amazing, my pride and my personal space were feeling uncomfortable. During the summers were particularly hard because we lost G.I. Bill money. I tried to work as much as I could to make up the loss of income which added to our stress also. Melanie was starting to work on her business at this time which was great, but our combined income was still not that much. Having come out of the Army with a very stable paycheck, a purposeful job, a mission, respect and then coming all the way back down to a student was very humbling and at times I struggled with anger and bitterness. There were many times I felt like everyone around me did not understand what being a veteran was, and I felt very isolated and alone. I started drinking a lot, was more distant from everyone and became quite self-loathing. I am not proud of some of the decisions I made during this time but am thankful that Melanie and I were able to make it through. Going through this dark time in my life taught me about what I must do to become a stronger, better and more humble human.

At an award ceremony with my 311th Unit, Los Angeles, CA 2015.

Hanging with Peyton Manning at the ESPYS, Los Angeles, CA 2015.

At the ESPYS with the Tillman Foundation, Los Angeles, CA, 2015.

Melanie and I at the ESPYS, Los Angeles, 2016.

Time For A Change

After some difficult times in my personal life, relationships and my overall attitude on life, I wanted to make a lot of changes. I started going to therapy to both help with my marriage and my post-traumatic stress from the military, I started to work out more, I started taking medication and decided I was going to get better. Although I had grown up Christian I was also struggling a lot with my faith at this time and am so thankful that now my relationship with God has never been stronger. Also just to be clear, I’m very thankful for the time and the people I served with during this time. I’m also very proud of the things that I was able to accomplish in both the Army Active and Army Reserve and am grateful for the good memories. In someways I wish I was still serving, but that time has passed. Above and below are a few highlights of my Reserve time; we attended the ESPYs a few times with the Tillman Foundation, we went to the Queen Mary for an Army Birthday Ball, and I got to film a Tough Mudder on behalf of the Army Reserve. During this time is when I started speaking at veteran events also, always keeping in mind the sacrifice of those that came before me and trying to teach my family those values as well.

Moments before making a movie pitch at USC, 2016. I did not get it ;)

Fox Studios Lot with the Army Reserve, 2015.

Giving a speech about my service with a Veterans group, 2016.

Filming at Tough Mudder for Army Reserve, 2016.

On the Queen Mary for the Army Birthday Ball, 2015.

Last Army Film - The Pacific Soldier

My last major mission was ironically to create a story about Pacific Soldier’s since World War II. The Pacific Soldier film was actually funded by my old unit at U.S. Army Pacific. USARPAC flew me out to Hawaii to film it and then we screened it at the 75th anniversary of Pearl Harbor on the Sunset on the Beach Festival on Waikiki Beach. The Lieutenant Dan Band opened the show, and my film played to a packed out audience where we received a standing ovation. I have to particularly thank the soldiers who told their stories; from the 442 Soldiers, to Vietnam Veteran and Gold Star Father Allen Hoe, and to all those who helped with this project, it truly was a special one. The film ended up receiving an Emmy nomination, and played at the G.I. Film Festival, and I was fortunate enough to enlist the wonderful talents of the amazing and gracious actor, Max Martini. Max loaned me his voice for this piece for free and I was so thankful for him because he nailed it. This film was my proudest that I made in the Army Reserve, and one of my favorites I made in the Army. I’m thankful it was the last film I made officially for the military and it happened to be with some of my favorite people that I have served with. I’m grateful to share these experiences with whomever is reading this, and even though I’m not super proud of everything I created or some of the choices I made during this time I hope that sharing the lessons will perhaps help others to keep going when they hit hard times. As a creative the only way for me to grow is to create, share, humble myself, learn and then start the cycle again. Thanks again for reading! Peace and love.