One Year Anniversary of “Made With Melanie” and My Pat Tillman Leadership Summit Keynote

Reflections On Made With Melanie

Summer is almost over and the children will be heading back to school soon. Life almost seems like it’s back to some semblance of normalcy, yet grief always lingers like a dark shadow that looms in the background. Our family is now almost a year and a half removed from my late-wife’s departure from this earth and the further we get it seems the more capable we are to cope but we still have our bad days. It’s also been a year since we released my feature documentary Made With Melanie and in this post I’d like to share some of my thoughts, feelings and observations about it. Additionally I was fortunate enough to give the keynote speech at this years Pat Tillman Foundation Leadership Summit in Chicago. Take a watch below to hear some of my story, why I became a filmmaker and share what happened to Melanie and the film about her. Read to the end of the blog for some big personal news!

Keynote speech for the ‘23 Tillman Leadership Summit.

Sharing Melanie’s story of her cancer journey and the film *Made With Melanie*, 2023.

Sharing the story of my Great-Grandmother Adrian Gurganian and her story of survival through the Armenian Genocide., 2023.

So humbled by these amazing Tillman Scholars and their embracing of my story, 2023.

An Honor of a Lifetime

In 2016 I received the prestigious and competitive Pat Tillman scholarship and was so thankful for the funds it provided for my schooling but never did I realize the amazing blessing it would become, the friendships I would make and the community I would be a part of. Not only did they send me to the Super Bowl this year but they asked me to give the keynote speech for this years Leadership Summit. The Summit happens once a year and the Foundation flies out the new class of Scholars and brings many of the previous years’ scholars for a weekend of inspiration, collaboration and just straight up fun. It’s an amazing time to catch up with old friends, make new relationships and I feel inspired by the great work these scholars are doing in the world. If you watch the speech you see that the last half I discuss the journey through Melanie’s fight with cancer and how that impacted our family. I was able to share about the film Made With Melanie and so many scholars had watched it and shared with me the impact Mel had made on them. Interestingly the Summit was almost exactly one year from when we released the film.

Me with good friends Bridgette Bell, ‘17 Tillman Scholar and Tillman Foundation board member Alex Garwood, 2023.

Dinner with some great Veterans and Scholars, 2023.

Tristan Dyer ‘11 Tillman Scholar and I leading a discussion about the importance of creativity and storytelling, 2023

Me with fellow USC Trojan film school friends; ‘10 Scholar Chris Roessner and ‘11 Scholar Tristan Dyer, 2023.

Had the immense honor of being one of the coin toss captains at the Super Bowl!

Kimberly Jung ‘14 Tillman Scholar, Chris Roessner ‘10 Tillman Scholar, Philip Caruso ‘16 Tillman Scholar and I having a discussion about storytelling and activism, 2023.

Healing Through Storytelling

A few days ago I hear Melanie’s voice in the living room as I walk out from my office and my daughter is sitting on the couch almost done with Made With Melanie with tears streaming down her face, she decided it had been a while and she just needed to be with mom for a little bit. After she finished the film I hugged her and we talked about Melanie and how much we missed her, it felt like a really cathartic and helpful thing for her; this is the power of storytelling and Melanie’s story. Since the release of the film last year we’ve had an immense outpouring of love and support. I wasn’t sure what to initially expect from the film but I knew sharing it to Melanie’s already massive online following, the majority of people who love and appreciate her would embrace it. The outpouring has been far more than what I was expecting. The film has garnered over 838,000 views, 25k likes, over 3,600 comments and most impressively over 347,000 hours of viewing. That means almost half of you who start the film finish it, so thank you! This really is a credit to the power of Melanie’s story and the way she lived her life. I’m hopeful that it will continue to grow and hit the several million mark some day. Despite all of the loving and kind comments I have gotten some really hurtful push back from random internet people (and even some friends) as well.

My son and I getting ready for the Super Bowl, 2023.

The kids and I at the anniversary of the Armenian genocide March, 2023.

Made With Melanie, 2022.

Daughter and I after her kindergarten and sixth grade graduations, 2023.

Kids and I after daughter’s sixth grade graduation, 2023

Haters Gonna Hate, I Guess…

Not that I ever need to justify my choices because God knows no one actually lives my life but me, but there seems to never be an end to judgmental people telling me how I should or shouldn’t do things. Below is one of many comments that have been posted on Melanie’s film, of course most are not targeted to Melanie they’re usually all targeted at me. Most comments have been loving and gracious but the comment below was particularly hurtful and took me a few days to shake it off. I often check the comments and delete the truly hateful ones because I don’t want my daughter or son to see them. I realize as a Jesus guy I’m supposed to love my enemies and I try to do that on a daily basis but there is a time for peace and there is a time for war… so I give these random internet trolls a big middle finger :) I’ve also had a lot worse things said to me; and over the years we’ve dealt with stalkers, threats, harassers and all sorts of stuff… so let me say this, I’m extremely defensive of my children and anyone who tries to hurt or come at us will see the soldier show up big time ;) So if you’ve read this far and you don’t like how I do things, live your own life and when we all stand naked and alone before the Creator we each can be held to account. My conscious is more than clear. My fight on earth is not over and I’m going to live my true purpose whether the haters gonna approve or not.

Not that it’s anyone’s business but it was part of Melanie’s desire and plan to help move into a better house for our family, that’s what she wanted and it worked out perfect for what we needed. If what you took away from my film felt insincere or my own agenda or that I was a bad husband these Eminem songs are for you —>

One of my favorite Em songs. After all the hurt and pain and abuse we go through in life, the best revenge is a legacy of a life lived with passion.

I’m a Soldier… Come after me or my family we have a major problem.

Moving Forward With Love In My Heart

Losing Melanie was the hardest thing I have ever been through and I know for the rest of our family it feels the same. It’s been a huge struggle to be a single parent, navigating all the day to day, trying to work and provide, carrying the grief of not only myself but my children and just trying to survive has not been easy. I’m actually surprised how often people offer me advice rather than wanting to listen to how I’m getting through, and since you’re still with me, here’s some thoughts on that.

First my relationship with Jesus is my number one focus. I constantly strive to live a life of love, compassion, sacrifice and service just like the Savior I follow. I’m not here to preach to anyone, I take my religion serious but I’m also very private about it (Melanie was also). I have found solace in reading the life of Jesus and how he interacted with people, often those who judged, condemned and ultimately murdered Him. Second the love of my family and close friends has been a great help in my dark moments. Thank you to my mom and dad, also Melanie’s mom and dad and step-parents who are still actively in me and my kids’ life. I have also leaned on the stories of others that have gone before me like my great-grandmother who was a surviver of the Armenian Genocide, whose strength helps me keep in perspective the difficulties of my life (I talk more about her story in my keynote). Additionally I am a huge fan of Hip Hop, the stories and resilience of African-Americans in our country has inspired me and my work. If you know me you know what a huge fan of Eminem I am (along with a ton of other artists), and quite frankly his anger at society is something that has always resonated with me and has gotten me through some very angry times in my life. Lastly and most recently I have fallen in love again.

Grandpa and Nana after a day at sea, 2023.

Grandma Avah and grand daughter after winning her 6th grade Volleyball championship, 2023.

Mama Lisa took the kids to New York City this summer! 2023

Visiting dad backstage after a great Ringo Starr concert, Peace and Love! 2023.

6th grade graduation day with the grands, 2023.

New Love and Continued Grief

So big personal news, I’m engaged! Before I tell a small portion of this new evolving story, if you care about me and aren’t instantly happy for my family, it’s time to stop following and move along. The months following Melanie’s death were excruciating and I was pretty lost. If you have ever lost someone you love, finding a new story is one of the hardest things to do. You may not be surprised to hear how much judgment I have received about being in a relationship again. Not that it’s anyone’s business but before Melanie passed, in an unprompted, very sad and difficult conversation she offered me her blessing to find a new love one day. That was one of the hardest conversations of my life.

Last year, I had no idea where to start this dating journey, so I began with the primary way to do it in our culture; dating apps. UGH! They are the worst! I went on a slew of dates and so many of them were awkward and in some cases just out right horrible. After a bit I gave up on the apps and started asking a few friends if they knew people that were single. A couple of Melanie’s friends who knew me well and what I was looking for offered to help me. They introduced me to a kind, compassionate, hard-working, beautiful mother of two; her name is Brooke. We had our first date and it was almost like love at first sight. We share the same values, we can laugh together, we both were single parents with children the same ages and we just hit it off. I decided early on I wasn’t going to tell my children until I knew we were going to be serious, but once I told both of my kids they were so happy and excited to meet her. Since then we’ve gotten engaged and my children absolutely love her and her kids.

Brooke, me and my family at a private screening of *Interpreters Wanted* at the University of Southern California’s Cinema School, 2023.

Brooke and I with my brothers Ismail and Saifullah at a private screening of *Interpreters Wanted* at Alamo Drafthouse, Los Angeles, 2023.

Our two little families at the Grand Canyon, 2023.

The whole gang back stage after my dad’s concert at the Greek playing with Ringo Starr, 2023.

The Next Chapter

I never thought my life would be where it is, on multiple fronts. I loved Melanie with all my heart but cancer took her from this world and I’ve had to learn to live without her. My kids and I still deal with grief , the challenges of combining two families, and just the day to day of life but we have each other and love wins :) Interestingly Brooke and Melanie knew each other, and so Brooke already understood some of my story. After our first date she watched the whole Made With Melanie film and told me how much she appreciated that I chose to honor Melanie in that way, that was a big deal for me. Brooke is not public on social media and I ask that you respect our desire to have some privacy as we navigate this but felt like this was something I wanted to share with you. To have the immense weight of losing Melanie and a shattered heart, to now feeling love again and a future for my kids and myself makes me so grateful that God brought me someone like Brooke. I can say that I’m happy and ready for this next chapter of our life. Whenever Melanie’s fans, our family or myself needs a visit from our angel we can watch Made With Melanie or any of her Youtube videos on her channel and remember the gift she was to the world. She will never be forgotten.

Thanks for reading.